I still love H.E.R.

Ever since I can remember music has been the center of my life. As a child I recorded mixtapes on my parents stereo. I spent hours sitting in the living room with headphones on which were way too big for my head. When I was a teenager and going through the typical puberty crisis, depressions, rebellious behaviour, authority resentment.. it was music that kept me sane.. It was music that made me learn english at 9 years old. And at the age of 15 it was graffiti that introduced me to Hip Hop culture. It was Graffiti, then Breakdance, then Writing and Rapping. It was Hip Hop who gave me an opportunity to be active, to find me, to become an individual instead of a follower, made me stay away from the dumb stuff I could`ve gotten myself into. It gave me a purpose, a new outlook on life.. And ever since then I knew there was nothing that would make me happier than making music my job, being surrounded by Hip Hop 24/7, nothing could beat that. Hip Hop is my baby, and I am hers, its a love that noone could ever come between. And although that is hard for alot of people to accept or even understand, it will never change.

I had a 9-5 for the past four and a half years and got my degree in a few business oriented subjects. I did it because it was the „smart“ thing to do. Because it was expected from me. Because my parents and society pushed me towards it. It wasnt a bad thing to do, because at least I will always have something to go back to and I also learned alot about life and work and myself within those years. But it never made me happy. During the past year I was miserable. Looking at that clock on the wall, counting the minutes, counting the days and weeks until it would finally be over. Although I always knew that the only job i would be able to live with long term was music, I was scared to make that step. That step out of the safe zone. To jump into an uncertain future. I know I have everything it takes to make it in the industry. I have the right ideas, the ambition, the passion, the will, the connections, the knowledge.. Its all there. But at the same time, there are alot of people who are dying to be in that same industry. And you dont know how long it will take until you are able to support yourself by doing it. You dont even know if it will ever happen. So I was scared for a long time, but my dream never died. And for the past years I have always spent the time besides my day job (and alot of hours at that job as well) working towards that dream. I did journalism, my radio show, going on three mixtape series (with seven tapes so far), working with artists, founding a movement, and soon will be signing a management deal with a group I couldnt be more excited about. I did all of this with only few hours. So imagine what I can do with a full day, seven days a week, 365 a year. I know I can do it. I just need to find the right way in.
So this is where I stand now. My work contract ended December 31st. I celebrated the beginning of a new path in my life on New Years Eve. Today, January 4th is officially my first day working for myself. And it feels great. Although theres still fear, uncertainty, I know that I can do this, I know that I will. I welcome you to walk besides me on this journey, to watch, to learn, to advise, to help.. whatever you choose to do with it, you`re welcome. I will write on this blog every day to sort my thoughts, to talk about my experiences, about the progress made or not made. And I have set a countdown for myself of 31 days. Of course I cant become what I want to become within a month, but it will be enough to see if I CAN get there in the future.

I am excited... and I love Hip Hop more than anything for giving me this excitement about life, for letting me feel this unconditional love. With that said, lets get to work!

Song of the day:
Outkast - Git up Git out
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1_Qfk24jQE